Crippling writer’s block, you guys.
I know, what a great thing to lead with! And look, I have already ended a sentence with a preposition AND begun a sentence with “and.” We’re off to a good start.
The days are a little shorter and the temps are, bit-by-bit, sneaking downward. I have left my window open to encourage the new, chilly breeze to fill my apartment so I can snuggle up beneath layers of blankets and fall fast asleep in that cozy way I haven’t experienced much of this year. Pumpkin spice lattes are back. I can get my sweaters out of their boxes with more intention than to merely gaze at them, lovingly. I should be thrilled. And yet.
All this change in the air reminds me that the year is nearing its end. What have I really done in it? Almost all of the acting work I’ve done this year has been for press and rehearsals and trailers for Desperate Dolls, which I’m sad to say has been indefinitely postponed. All of us actors were hoping the movie could be made on a smaller budget than the kickstarter demanded, after a pretty successfull indiegogo campaign, but that wasn’t the case. I’m very bummed about it, but that is the nature of the industry. A project is not really real until the finished product is in the hands of its audience. That said, I had a fantastic time working with Darren Callahan, Stephen Spencer, G. Riley Mills, Emily Bennett, and Stephanie Leigh Rose. They are enormous fountains of talent and I’d really like the chance to work with them again.
So there’s this sense of gloom invading my otherwise jovial Autumn Spirit. I’m hoping to drown it with pumpkin spice lattes and auditions.
The other thing summer has taught me, and continues to even as it retreats, is to really value quality time with people. I need a lot of time to myself to feel remotely sane, but since my best friend and roommate moved to LA at the beginning of June, joining another two very close friends who left not long before and joined by another who left in August, I’ve come to the uncomfortable realization that I don’t really have a lot of good friends in the city anymore. I definitely took living with my best friend for granted–always having a sounding board, someone to tell you not to wear those shoes with those pants, someone to listen to midnight ramblings while splitting a bottle of three dollar wine–I really miss all of that. It was so easy when we lived together. I’ve really got to start making more of an effort to connect with the people around me–I am so fortunate to have so many wonderful people in my life, and to be a part of this great big Chicago theatre community who is so supportive and adventurous–and I feel kind of stupid for not taking advantage of it as much as possible. I’m adopting that perspective, now, and it’s really important to me to come out of my shell and let people know how much they mean to me. Feelings are hard!
This has been a convoluted missive and I’m not entirely sure how to resolve it. Umm, drop the mic, I guess?