A Phone Is Not a Limb (And Other Life Lessons)

It finally happened. Really, it’s a rite of passage for city-dwellers, and I’m actually surprised it didn’t happen sooner.

That’s right: My phone was stolen right out of my pocket.

Of course, I have a lot to be thankful for: I wasn’t mugged or anything, and I’m due for an upgrade in a couple months, so this situation could have been a lot worse. Mostly I’m upset because–in the words of the (probable) male models who staff the North & Clybourn Verizon store, “Who steals a droid x2?!” I thought my older smartphone was safe. And as it turned out, my cloud had never been enabled, so I lost every last one of my contacts and over 2,000 pictures. During a frantic half-mile scuffle back to my bus stop in icy rain and a not-quite-substantial-enough leopard coat, before I put the pieces together, I mourned for all those memories and bemoaned the fact that of course if my phone were to be stolen it would be right as rent was coming due and I would have no money to replace it.

Well, guess what? None of those things are actually a big deal. The memories didn’t magically leave my skull now that the bricklike bearer of their physical evidence was gone. Friends and family immediately offered their old phones for my (free) use, and what I originally assumed would be a devastating loss turned out to be no big deal. Because you guys, a phone is just a thing.

My friend that night exclaimed, “I can’t believe you’re being so calm about this! Everyone else I know would be freaking out!”

And while I was surprised, myself, the more I thought about it the more it was true. It’s just a thing. Yes, it’s a thing that keeps you busy and possibly quite amused while the CTA ferries you across a vast and trafficky city. It’s a thing that enables anyone, anywhere, at any time, to reach you (which I already had some issues with). It’s a high-resolution camera which enables you to capture your life in real, preservable time, which is so awesome. It’s a tool for finding food and anything else you could want on the fly. It’s a great thing. But I don’t miss it that much.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to replace it. In fact, when I upgrade in July, that iPhone 5 will have my name all over it. I suppose that means I will have to be even MORE careful. But for now, I am astoundingly pleased  with the beat-up old replacement phone I have been generously offered. I am only slightly upset that the perpetrator of this theft did not confront me, because I have secretly always wanted to punch someone right in the face and/or throat in a self-defense situation, and he would have made my dreams come true. Thereafter I am also thankful that didn’t happen, because that is an idiotic thing to wish for as a consolation prize for getting your stuff jacked.

Now I can get back to not caring that the superbowl happened last night; loving the glorious SNOW we finally got in full here in this gorgeous city of mine, and snuggling my cat while craigslisting apartments in Andersonville. You know, the things that really matter.



May not be the most scenic view, but good golly I loved seeing real snow out my window this morning!
May not be the most scenic view, but good golly I loved seeing real snow out my window this morning!


PS you may have noticed a new look for Alyssa Says…I really like it; I think it’s more sensible and visually interesting. let me know what you think!